“So this is the profile of the course,” says Andrew Goodman, my chalet host, or, as I like to think of him, my newly appointed cycling coach. He is holding up a diagram that, even to my inexperienced eye, points disturbingly upwards.
I am surrounded by a group of female mountain bike racers – better known as the Dirt Divas. I have only just met them in the chalet we are sharing, but they have already persuaded me to swap mountain bikes for road bikes and join them on one of the most infamous climbs of the Tour de France: the Col du Glandon.
They are being spurred on by the fact that the Tour is a notoriously all-male race; they’re determined to prove that girls are tough enough to take on the course too. I have had the misfortune of being selected as their guinea pig to demonstrate this. “The best bit about racing is overtaking all the blokes,” one of them informs me.
Well, looking at the profile of the course, I’m not sure how much overtaking I’ll be doing. Over 25 kilometres of unrelenting uphill to the 1,924m summit is riddled with steep hairpin corners and lengthy stretches of tarmac. This is the type of terrain where the weak will crumble.
We are staying in the eight-person catered Chalet Arnou in Vaujany. Perched on a steep hillside in the Rhone-Alps, this ancient farming village just happens to be positioned in one of the most extensive ski areas in Europe; in winter, a 160 person cable car whisks skiers to 2,800m and one of the largest ski areas in France, the Alpe d’Huez.
In July and August, the cable car is back in business and when the snow melts, the mountains transform into a cyclist’s dream: hundreds of kilometres of road and mountain biking trails make this one of France’s top areas for the sport.
Non-cycling partners are also well catered for in the area with activities including hiking, tennis, rock climbing, archery and horse riding. Despite high-tech conveniences, the town still retains its alpine charm. Once a gateway to nearby Italy, the original road to the border (Le Grand Chemin) is still lined with wooden chalets dating back to the 18th century. Here there are none of the high-rise hotels that have invaded much of the Alps.
The traditional-looking Chalet Arnou was only completed in February, but you’d never know from its pine exterior and gently sloping roof.
Run by Andrew and girlfriend Dani Gardner, both UK-trained mountain bike instructors, it is an alpine retreat with all the trimmings. The couple are on hand to point out routes that suit your ability and to offer tips, from how to conquer downhills to using the optimum gear for uphill plodding. The chalet is kitted out with a bike rack, and Andrew is always eager to cart you and your bike to and from the trail of your choice.
The best thing about exercise, of course, is that it justifies vast amounts of fuel – and our hosts made sure we got it. The best cappuccino cake I’ve ever tasted greeted me on arrival and I devoured it on my balcony while watching a rainbow form in a mountain waterfall. Everything is homemade, from Dani’s freshly baked bread in the morning to her biscotti dessert.
We sat down for an eve-of-battle meal of baked Camembert, pork and cider stroganoff and apricot tarte tartin. Earlier in the day we had warmed up our bike legs on a “technical” downhill route, the Col du Sabot. Technical is bike-speak for hard, which I discovered when I had an argument with a river and ended up sopping wet. This did not bode well.
Sure enough, the next day my plan to save the lowest of my 21 gears for absolute emergencies went out of the window after seconds on the Col du Glandon, when I am faced with the first of countless hairpin corners. Soon my thighs are burning and sweat is prickling my eyes. My neck has seized up and my lower back aches. Up, up, up I go, panting heavily with the effort.
To avoid having to look the enemy in the face, my gaze instead wanders to my surroundings. The higher we get, the more barren the surroundings become. Lush pastures full of wildflowers and bell-wearing goats give way to crumbling grey cliffs and patches of snow. I welcome a cooling drizzle of rain before a sunny spell moves in.
A bright flash whizzes past. I blink to discover that it is a Lycra-clad man with white whiskers and go-faster yellow shoes. As he powers past me, he shouts a brief “Allez” of encouragement. I must look like I need help. But after two and a half hours of snail-paced climbing, suddenly there it is – the Chalet du Glandon. The mountaintop café signals I have made it to the top.
The panoramic view takes away my last remaining breath as I roll up to join the others who are already on their second glass of rosé.
Buzzing with pride, I think I’ll have to remember my yellow footwear next time. But for now, where is that waiter? I could do with a rosé.
Travel notes
Prices:
Stay at the Chalet Arnou from €400 a week including breakfast and three course dinner with beer/wine and shuttles around town with bikes.
More info: www.thebigalpineadventure.co.uk
Road/Mountain bike hire is €40 a day from The Rose Showroom in Vaujany.
How to get there: Fly to Lyon (around 90 minute drive away) and Grenoble (in winter months).
More info on Dirt Divas: www.dirtdivas.co.uk
Ellie Ross, Sportsister
The Women’s Sports Magazine
